


ur layers man

by spiritedwhere (orphan_account)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crack Fic, M/M, and now we have this, and then i said i would write a full out fic, idk man i wrote a thing at 2am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 10:28:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9177010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/spiritedwhere
Summary: "shrek-sensei, i-i've never done this before- i don't know if i'm ready to do this-""this is my swamp, yuuri. no need to get ogre-excited."





	

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry but not for y'all more for me.

Yuuri Katsuki glanced backwards, his Anime School™ outfit brushing in the cherry blossom wind. The library was full of books, but he didn't really give a shit, looking over to at his beautiful green colored monster of a guy.

His beautiful teacher, educator of the layers in every goddamn onion in the world. Yuuri passed each and every test with an A times X, but wanted something more. Something stronger, something more….

Ogre-riffic. (Ten points to the puns ayyyyyyyy.)

Shrek-sensei was reading a book and eating an onion, his suit looking beautiful but not as beautiful as his torn rags. Yuuri himself had seen the rags in their beautiful muddy glory, every day after school once he snuck into Shrek-sensei’s swamp and watched him bathe. He even had a piece of the fabric which he cut off and sewn onto his sweater. Raising an arm upwards, he breathed in the ragged fabric. 

It smelled ogre-licious. (Another ten points ayyyyy.)

“Ay mate, what's that cursed sound? Reminds meself of me ol’ pal Donkey.”

Yuuri cursed his nostrils. His loud and erotic breathing was loud enough that it disrupted his daddy.

Shrek-sensei looked up, his eyes flickering toward Yuuri. Yuuri was spotted and immediately backflipped into the nearest bookstand, his blush powerful enough to deflect the pain. He landed in a different aisle and pressed his face against the wood, peering once more at his longed for lover. 

His heart fluttered. It was almost directly from the Iconic™ scene from Sekaiichi Hatsukoi. He wished Shrek-sensei would invite him to his home, and ravish his in the muddy bed. 

“Show me all your layers,” he whispered, gazing once fucking more at Shrek-sensei. 

“Hell-o Yuuuuuuuurrrriiiiiiiiiii,” Viktor Nikiforov, hottie mchottie and otherwise a totally good banging mate had Shrek-sensei not been around, said. He leaned next to the bookshelf motherfucking Yuuri was hiding with, and pushed his hair back, showing that big ass forehead that made girls NUT and guys BUST A NUT.

“What do you want,” Yuuri said, eyes scanning away from Viktor’s perfect frame, similar to that of a five time consecutive Grand Prix Final winner. He looked back to Shrek-sensei, who was getting up and leaving.

“Oh fuck daddy’s leaving,” Yuuri said, not even bothering to let My Literal Dad™ Viktor speak out a sentence. Getting out of his hiding spot, he made sure to untuck his collar and pop that ass out as he walked, knowing his ass was cute. (Citation dictating I can fucking say this: Kubo, “I figured Yuri knows he has a nice butt, so I deliberately made it shorter in the back.”)

Viktor sighed, pulling his ice skates out of his ass, where they usually resided, and strapped them on. He then preceded to quadruple flip out of the room through the window, cherry blossoms exploding dramatically behind him.

Yuuri eventually caught up to Shrek-sensei, and after checking out that shrek-tastic (ten points :D) ass, he posed himself ready to go. 

“Uwu!” he exclaimed, tossing himself downwards onto the floor. A nearby cart full of milk fell over from the impact of the fall, sexily spilling over Yuuri. He lavished in it and then pulled himself up.

“Oh dear…. Shrek-sensei, help me?” Yuuri faced the beautiful ogre, holding one hand out delicately. 

Shrek-sensei blinked once, twice, about a fucking three hundred more times, the crust in his eyes looking more and more beautiful as Yuuri watched. He put his onion into his breast pocket and looked downwards towards Yuuri.

“Of course.” He touched Yuuri, and Yuuri had to fight off the major orgasm which attempted to take over his ass. Instead, he chose to have a moan lasting a solid ten minutes.

“Thank god, I was subtle,” he whispered to himself, voice kinda hoarse from the moan. But like, not the kinda of hoarse from screaming or getting a bad cold or something that makes you sound like some bitch in a John Green novel, instead a cute one that makes you want to dry hump the shit out of someone, ya know?

Yeah, ya know.

“Ay, talk about an ogre-ful, am I right?” Shrek-sensei told him, winking. (ten points) Yuuri was about to bust a nut from the simple gesture. 

“Y-yeah.” Remembering he was a sexy ass pork cutlet bowl, determined by that Buzzfeed quiz he took at two in the morning, he chose to thrust his chest out as he pulled himself up a bit too hard, pulling him onto Shrek-sensei. 

He was gonna get that ogre dick even if he had to meet up with that hella lit fairy godmother. 

The fabric of Shrek-sensei’s suit pressing against the soaked fabric of Yuuri’s uniform was Iconic™. 

"I'm all….. wet now,” Yuuri seduced out. “Oh… Shrek-sensei… can you… help me?” He batted his eyes, then raised a hand to gesture towards his soaked body. 

The smell of onion radiated off of him, chilling Yuuri to his core. He was just about to throw that ass into a rhombus when Shrek-sensei opened his mouth again. 

“Of course. But, we need to take this somewhere else.” Shrek-sensei took Yuuri in his arms like some goddamn wedding metaphor and took him off, ass cheeks brushing amongst the wind surrounding them. Thanks to the power of physics, they exited to school and made it to Shrek-sensei’s swamp in less than the Yuri!! On Ice theme song History Maker, sung by Dean Fujioka, available for purchase on iTunes for $1.29, and is available for steaming on Spotify. 

“This is my swamp,” Shrek-sensei makes out. He sets down Yuuri, who leaned down to touch the dirt, inhaling the scent that made up his daddy. 

“Yeah, no shit,” Yuuri whispers. “I was here yesterday, but didn't expect it to be so…..” 

“Ogre-tastic?” Shrek-sensei finishes. (ten more points woo woo c’mon Ravenclaw) 

“Yes,” Yuuri smiled. He makes his way to the mud bath, relishing in how it contrasted to his family’s bathhouse. He takes off the soaked shirt, happy that his body matched one of a professional figure skater who placed second in the Grand Prix Final and won the heart of a five time winner. 

Or something close to that. 

“Can I… b-bathe?” Yuuri asked, turning to look at his sensei. Shrek-sensei smiles and tugs his own tie off, bringing out the onion once more. He takes a bite out of it, then tosses it into the mud. 

“Only if me own skin can bathe alongside ye,” Shrek-sensei purrs out. 

“That sounds great,” Yuuri says, grinning as he sinks into the mud. Tugging off his clothes and bringing them upwards to rest in the grass nearby, he watches as Shrek-sensei strips. 

Suddenly, Shrek-sensei rushes toward Yuuri, brushing his green fingers on Yuuri’s beautiful amazing wondrous fucking great 10/10 yes daddy fuck it up face. 

“Yuuri,” Shrek-sensei starts. “Let me teach you about layers, in a whole new way.” 

Yuuri does The Thing™ where he blushes deeper than a girl after she's caught eying the models in America’s Next Top Model and no she isn't gay she just appreciates the outfits and the nice skin and so what if it's the lingerie challenge and so what if they're just walking up in down in pretty bras that doesn't really mean she's gay does it no so she's not really gay and no she isn't that red stop staring at her. 

Shrek-sensei puts his hand lower, grabbing a handful of mud and bringing it to Yuuri’s face, painting him with the colors. 

“This is really good for your skin and promotes healthier pores,” he whispers. Yuuri shudders and nuts at the same time. He glances downward, into the amazingly dirty mud. 

"Shrek-sensei, I-I’ve never done this before- I don't know if I’m ready to do this-" 

"This is my swamp, Yuuri. No need to get ogre-excited." (:DDD) 

Yuuri fell into Shrek-sensei, and they found out the many layers that were hidden amongst the other, both drowned in the pleasure. 

It was exactly what Yuuri had hoped for, after holding out for a hero for so long.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on twitter (@simplyseulgi)


End file.
